Don't Mess With Hermione
by Fantastic as Fremione
Summary: "Then Ronald," she said, her voice dripping with sweetness. "You'll agree when I say that at the end of this wand is an idiot." A quick one shot on why you should never mess with Hermione. Takes place during the trio's eighth year after the horcrux hunt


**This is not a couple one shot, and it's not Ronomione either! It's just an idea I got while reading these quotes online and for some reason it made me think of Hermione. I may make this into a series of oneshots, but I'm not positive on that. I don't own HP or Hermione Granger (unfortunately). I hope you enjoy and tell me what you think! Oh and this takes place in the year the trio return to Hogwarts after the defeat of You-Know-Who**

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><p>"I'll be right back," Harry told Hermione and Ron before heading up to his dormitories.<p>

They sat in silence before Ron spoke up. "Hermione?"

"Yes?" She didn't glance up.

"Why are girls so weak?"

Hermione slowly put down her book and gripped her wand. "What did you say?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but Ron squirmed and glanced around nervously.

"I said why are girls so weak?" He knew he should stop, but he didn't. "Cho cries all the time, you can't throw a proper punch, Lavender gets tired after walking down the stairs and Harry can beat Ginny at quidditch. Why can't girls do anything right?"

Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a minute before opening them. "Ron," she said in a dangerously calm voice. "You might want to think those through and then talk to me."

"I did," Ron said nervously, trying to meet her steely gaze. He gulped. Since when was his best friend so terrifying? And dangerous?

"Alright then." Hermione glared at him before using a wand less incantation, shooting a blinding white light toward his face.

Ron grabbed his face and yelled as bats began to fly out of his nose while large red boils appeared on his face, all turning his skin blue. "Hermione!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and muttered a counter jinx letting him breathe with relief.

He relaxed for a few minutes. "Hermione that still didn't answer my question."

Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously. "It didn't?"

Ron shook his head, wondering if he should run. "No. It was easy magic."

"Easy magic huh?"

"Um yes."

"Then Ronald," she said, her voice dripping with sweetness. "You'll agree when I say that at the end of this wand is an idiot."

**20 minutes later…**

Harry and the twins burst in to the hospital wing where Madame Pomfrey was leaning over a very badly bruised Ron lay. His skin was blue with red boils and purple bruises on it, with occasional bats flying out of his nose. Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "Most powerful hexes I've ever seen," she muttered. She sighed. "Well Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley, these bruises and hexes will take at least 5 hours," she said with a shake of her head.

Harry's eyes widened. 5 hours? "You're lucky Ginny brought you in," he exclaimed as Madame Pomfrey left.

Ron groaned. "I'm lucky I'm alive!"

Fred frowned. "What'd you do anyway? She hasn't even hexed us this badly!"

George nodded in agreement. "And who knew Granger could punch?" he added glancing at the bruises.

"She can," Ron muttered. "And I asked her a question."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "What question?" he demanded.

"Why are girls so weak?"

Harry, Fred and George stared at him, before George burst into laughter and Fred grinned. "Well than you are lucky you're alive!"

Harry sighed in disbelief. "And she punched you for that?"

Ron shook his head. "No hexed me for that. Some weird combination of bat bogey, boils and colour changing."

Fred shook his head. "3 in 1."

Harry shoved him. "Then what did she punch you for?"

"What I said after," he answered. He winced. "7 punches, then some weird hexes and more punches and…"

Harry looked worried. "What did you say?"

Ron hesitated. "She pointed her wand at me and said at the end of this wand it an idiot."

Harry shook his head slowly, while Fred and George roared with laugher. "You didn't…"

Ron nodded miserably. "I asked which end."

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><p><strong>Poor Ron! Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>


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